One of the most inspiring aspects of Paul's life was his ability to persevere and overcome challenges, trials, and tribulations. Despite facing constant opposition, he never wavered in his faith and continuously relied on God's strength in the face of adversity.
As you have stayed faithful in your walk with Jesus, you are sensing that you are breaking out of the pain and struggles. But you aren't fully out of it yet. It's like being in a spiritual April.
Failures are just steps along the way to learning what we need to know in order to succeed. By walking with Jesus, we can overcome failure with faith.